More Than Money

My grandmother died last night. I was very close with her, and I see so much of me and my mother in her. For both better and worse.  Especially when it comes to money.

My family has the opposite problem of what I think is the normal issue with money (overspending): we have issues spending money.  Especially on ourselves.  My grandmother lived through the Depression. She worked in factories and then she was a homemaker.  She worked hard all of her life. She and my grandfather saved and saved.  When she died, she received social security and a small pension. She still had more than 500K in the bank (from what I understand) and she was in her mid-nineties. Of course if she had lived for 5-6 more years in a nursing home, she would have spent all of that money. But she didn't.  The problem is (in my mind anyway) that she scrimped so much she didn't let herself enjoy life when she was alive.  She wore rags for underwear and wouldn't let us buy her new ones.  When I would buy her nice  things like new towels, she would simply fold them up and put them in the closet, saving them for god knows what and continue on using her rag towels.

I understand why my grandmother was the way she was and I admire her strong work ethic, thrift, determination and self-discipline that got her through the Depression and all the way to her mid-90s.  That said, I wish that she'd been able to appreciate herself and feel a little more secure and been able to enjoy her time here more.

I was happy today because I was actually wearing a bra that I bought last month (immediately after I posted that I hadn't bought any clothes on this blog, ha). I fretted over buying it for months. I didn't need it, but it was beautiful. Finally it went on sale for $45 (it was normally closer to $100) so I swooped in and got it. I hope that I can live like that -- still finding the joy in little treats and 'pampering' myself, but being practical and honoring my grandmother's memory and never wasting anything.

What I Am Grateful For

I started reading a new book which could loosely be categorized in the personal finance genre. It is called Peace and Plenty by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I got it because it sounded like a fascinating money story -- she made and lost a fortune. But there's a lot of self-help type advice in it that I thought was cheesy at first, but now I think I find kind of valuable. One concept she talks about is gratitude, and making a list of things that you are grateful for in terms of money. So I thought about it and this is what I came up with:

1. I am grateful I do not own a house -- I never have to worry about some big housing related emergency expense that will cost me thousands of dollars in one go, or about my property taxes going up, or whether the homeless shelter they are opening in my neighborhood is going to bring down the value of my property, or feel like I am trapped and can't move for a dream job, or any other reason, or freak out that I sunk my life savings into an asset that has lost more than 1/2 of it's value.
2. I am grateful that I have low expenses -- I have kept my expenses low which gives me a lot of flexibility. If I want to blow some money on clothes or makeup, etc. each month, I can. I never feel deprived, because I can always treat myself without having to sacrifice savings.
3. I am grateful that I can afford good medical care -- I go to a homeopath/therapist. She is really helping me grow as a person. She is expensive. $200 an hour and I go once a week. Insurance covers part of this, but I spent almost 2K last year on her. But I can afford to. Also, if something horrible happens to me, I have long-term disability insurance so that should give me some financial resources.
4. I am grateful that I can afford to travel. I keep praying that the value of the dollar holds up so I can continue to travel internationally. I have seen how challenging it can be for people of developing countries to travel outside their country, even if they are middle or upper middle class, just because of the currency.
5. I am grateful that I had a good example of how to save. My grandmother is a saver, probably more on the stingy side actually, and my mom is a saver. It's like a religion. I was born into it and never questioned it. I'm happy that's my DNA and not to overspend.

I am grateful that I have a lot to be grateful for!